i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
