I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
