Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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