I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
