Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
