He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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