I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
