He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
