dude i'm inner monologue high
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
