Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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