needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
