Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
