tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
