Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
