just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
