this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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