he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
