She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
