we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
MIDGETS
????
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
