Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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