My first STD was from a foam party
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
