I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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