everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
