I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
