I've blown a few things in my day
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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