Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
