I think I am morally bankrupt
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
