You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
