best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
