Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
