You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
