Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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