I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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