direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
