when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
