He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
