So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
