office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
