remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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