I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
