it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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