So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
