I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
