Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
