I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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