So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
