hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
