Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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