Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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