Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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